do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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