Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
