Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
