yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
