Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
