My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
