I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Buhtt sex?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize