I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
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