id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
