lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
