The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
