fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
