Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
