but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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