Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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