Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
