This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
