Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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