And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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