Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
