I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
