i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They took my balls.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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