Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
