She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize