so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
