her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it's not cheating when I paid for it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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