Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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