The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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