But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
