He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
