Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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