Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
