Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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