Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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