I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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