yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
