It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
