Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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