My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
