Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
