Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
