shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
