so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
