I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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