Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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