We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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