I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
