Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize