he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
