So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
