I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I need a hoe opinion
go on
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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