Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
