I don't think brook has ever known best
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
