If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
