Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
