Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
