you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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