Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
