How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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