haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
